Working Mom Diaries 3: Real-Life Mom Friends

This is my biggest struggle right now. I’ll try not to be a downer in this post, but man, it is discouraging to have so much trouble finding working mom friends!

One thing I have learned about Utah, at least in my part of the state, is that most women do not work outside the home. In-home careers like hairdressing are pretty popular here… as are, unfortunately, the less legitimate in-home careers like multi-level marketing schemes. However, the average Utahn woman, in my experience, is a stay-at-home mom. When I take a day off or work from home and take my son to the park midday, I see dozens of stay-at-home moms with their children. Which is great! But it’s not the lifestyle that I lead on a daily basis (or want to). Meanwhile, at work, I encounter a grand total of two other working moms that I know of!

Several people have asked me, “Why don’t you just make friends with stay-at-home moms?” Well, I do have a few stay-at-home mom acquaintances, but to be honest, we just do not have as much in common as I need to have with someone to become really close. Think about it: while we’re all mothers, our daily lives are completely different, and that means that a lot of the things we want to talk about, need advice about, or are struggling with are totally different, too.

I doubt that I’ll really get my quest for working mom friends kicked off until after our second child arrives and settles in to a schedule, but here are some goals and ideas that I have for meeting people and making friends (probably in 2019!).

  • Start a supper club. This is an idea inspired by Carolina Charm’s supper club posts! I’m planning to ask the working women I know here—both moms and not moms—to start a monthly supper club with me. This would mean one of us hosting the group for dinner each month, or, maybe more likely, meeting as a group for a dinner out each month. The great thing about this is that each member could invite other working women from her own job or neighborhood and the group could (hopefully) grow.
  • Scour the Internet. I haven’t had a ton of luck with this, but I have found an online group for non-LDS moms in my area, and a group for working moms of Utah. I’m hoping to connect with some other women through these groups, although they’re pretty limited.
  • Reach out… and recognize other people reaching out. This is something I really need to work on. I tend to get “in the zone” at work and not socialize much or pay much attention to what’s going on in my office. Another working mom at my office recently reached out to me online and I really need to follow up with her and jumpstart that potential friendship. It can be hard when you’re really busy to put in the effort up-front, but I know that doing so could pay off in a big way long-term: I could make a great friend who I have a lot in common with.

That’s all I’ve got for now! I’ll be sure to follow up on this topic when and if things change.

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