Home 24/7, April 2020

I vacillate between wanting to keep this blog purely professional, and thinking that, especially right now, attempting to separate the personal from the professional is both harmful and impossible. I don’t know if I’ll continue with more personal posts here forever, but I’m plowing ahead with this one.

My first day at my new job with CrowdANALYTIX was Wednesday March 25th. On Sunday March 15th, my father-in-law left our house for California after a 5-day visit, and that night my mother arrived from Florida for what was planned as a 2-week visit. It felt like the next couple of days, March 16th and 17th, were when the coronavirus reality really hit us in Texas. First, spring break was extended. Then restaurants and bars closed. Then schools officially closed, along with our daycare/preschool. It became clear that not only would it not be a good idea for my mother to leave yet, we also needed her to stay, at least long enough for me to start my new job and for us to establish some sort of work-from-home-while-caring-for-two-kids routine.

For now, my mom takes care of the boys most of the day because my husband and I are both working full-time from home. We’re hoping that she will stay until mid-May, when my husband’s semester of teaching ends and he can become a stay-at-home dad for a few months.

But even with someone here full-time helping out… this is hard. I hate to even say that, because most parents are having to cope with a lot less help than we have. Lots of people no longer have two incomes, or even one. Many families don’t have a house with a fenced back yard to play in, or a nice neighborhood to take walks in. They don’t have a playhouse and a few new toys and DoorDash delivery and a piano. Part of my feels like this should be easy for us. But on the other hand, nothing is easy about your whole life changing for a frightening reason.

I’ve been working from home for months now, but it’s very different with my husband and both kids here too. I haven’t had more than a few minutes alone or in total quiet since the first week of March. It’s much harder to concentrate with everyone in the house, and it’s also confusing for the kids, because they don’t quite understand why we can’t come play with them just like we do on the weekends. Our three-year-old especially misses his friends and his daycare/preschool routine. He loves his teachers and is now old enough to have specific friends he plays with; he mentions someone he misses almost every day. He’s a very social kid, and for his sake I hope that this doesn’t last too long.

For my part, here are the things I’m missing:

  • The ability to run out to the store for a missing ingredient, a snack, or a special lunch I’ve been craving.
  • Bars and pubs. Even though we don’t go out often, decompressing for an hour in the company of strangers, even ones I don’t speak to, is important to me. There’s something soothing about just existing in a shared space like that, where everyone is relaxing over a beer, together but separate.
  • The library. I’m still using an app to check out my own books, but kids’ books are really not the same on a Kindle. I used to take my older child to the library on the weekend every couple of weeks.
  • The pool and/or rec center. Around this time of year, we’d normally start taking the kids swimming on the weekends, and signing them up for swim lessons at the rec center. None of that is happening right now.
  • Restaurants. We were in a routine of taking the whole family out for lunch on one weekend day, and the boys were getting better and better at behaving properly in restaurants. We’re still getting takeout once a week, but there are no social skills involved in that.

I think the hardest part of all of this, for me, is the “never being alone” aspect. I don’t even have a brief drive in my car by myself, much less a whole workday spent alone without the sounds of four other people nearby. There is something uniquely difficult about that.

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